


hallow (the tip of your fingers)

by Underthegallowws



Series: one step at a time [1]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Blind!Theo, M/M, Mentions of being suicidal, description of a nasty injury
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-14 22:27:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28678131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Underthegallowws/pseuds/Underthegallowws
Summary: Theo feels Liam’s hand on his arm, a warm touch almost careful, and he feels the pain being drained from his body immediately. It works like a charm, and he isn’t saddened by the fact that he can, at least, stop fighting. He doesn’t want to think about what it all means, or about tomorrow.He feels himself slipping away, pain free, and Liam whispers “I’m sorry” into his ear.Or : After a fight goes wrong, Theo is left blind, and angry. Liam is the person who tries to get through him.
Relationships: Liam Dunbar/Theo Raeken
Series: one step at a time [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2101932
Comments: 23
Kudos: 86





	hallow (the tip of your fingers)

**Author's Note:**

> As you may know, I am not blind, and this work doesn't depict a typical or occasional experience with blindness. It's a fictional work, so please understand that I don't pretend knowing about what it would be like for someone to lose their sight.  
> On a more personal level, having lost for a year all sensation and control in one of my arms, I have experienced what it feels like to think you have lost something for life. And the anger that comes with it.  
> (Don't be sad, physical therapy and meds made me regain 90% of that)  
> Special thanks to Tara who pushed me to finish this one ! (I didn't kill anyone again !)

They say you never know what you have until it’s gone. It’s such a cliché, and Theo used to laugh at clichés. 

His life changes on a Tuesday, at around eleven in the night. He is prepared, and the plan is going smoothly. He is running, his fangs out, ready to take on one of the witches of the coven, and he can hear the rest of the pack around him, everyone focused on their mission. They have gotten good at this. They know how to work as a group, and every single person has a purpose. Theo knows Corey is on one of the branches, ready to dump mountain ash on the rogue omega that the coven has chosen to take in. Scott is about to face the Supreme, Malia is already taking the second in command. He only has his target in mind, and he does his best not to get into the line of sight of the others. The name of the witch is something weird, gaelic, and with a lot of vowels, so Theo doesn’t remember it, but he knows exactly what she looks like, and it’s easy to smell her sage scent from where he is. He jumps in her direction, adrenaline pumping through his heart, knowing how each second is important.

He has no idea how ugly things are going to get for him. If he had, he would have taken the time to look at the beta werewolf a few meters from him. He might have chosen to engrave his pack’s faces in his memory. Maybe he would have chosen not to fight, to flee the battleground, and decided to preserve himself.

But as he has no idea of what is coming for him, Theo doesn’t look at Liam. He doesn’t change his mind about his course of action. He runs, and uses his claws to get a good grip on the witch, already tearing through her stomach. She will be dead in a few seconds. Things are absolutely fine.

Until her fingers become as sharp as a million of scalpels. She gulps, taken over by the pain, as he twists his claws against her intestines. But in the few seconds it takes for her to die, she has time to whisper something in another language, and to plunge her terrible fingers into Theo’s eyes. He can’t help but roar, as he feels his whole face being slivered. The pain is like no other physical pain he has ever felt. He can hear his eyes exploding at the contact of her nails, and the bone of his nose is ripped with the rest of his skin. He lets her go, and stagger for a few steps. He tries to blink, like it could help, as he is still convinced things are going to be okay and he just needs to get rid of what is obscuring his view. With his hands, he scrapes his face, and if he still had eyes, he would probably cry from the intense burning he feels.

“Theo!”

Liam is next to him in a second, and if there are still people fighting around them, Theo is unable to focus on the noises they make. The only thing he can think of is the fact that he can’t see. What did the witch do to him?

Someone touches his arm, and he is startled at the contact. There are so many scents around him, and he is pretty sure there are a lot of people too. He can hear Lydia, Scott and Stiles in a whole discussion, but he doesn’t seem to understand what they are saying. He keeps trying to reach for his eyes.

“I can’t see.” He whispers, because they have to know. “Guys? I can’t see?”

Liam’s hand lands on his arm, and his voice rises next to Theo. “I know. We know. Keep calm. You need to heal.”

“It looks bad.” Lydia mutters, and Theo hates the fact that he can’t hear correctly, but the only thing he is able to understand is the banshee’s opinion on the state he is in. 

“I feel like I’m going to throw up. Okay, how did that happen? Theo? Someone?” Stiles rambles, as Theo can hear someone coming near him. 

“Hey, dude. It’s Scott. I know you are in a lot of pain right now but you need to focus on healing. Okay? I know it’s hard but…”

“I’m focused.” Theo says, as he tries to feel the nerves in his face, but everything is hot, and burning like a hot iron being picked again and again at his face. “Healing.”

There is a long silence, as the last of the battle noises die in the forest. Theo can feel the cold ground under him, and he tries to breathe. Liam’s heart - it must be Liam’s, because the person next to him smells like the laundry detergent Jenna uses, Liam’s heart beats fast, too fast. And all Theo can think of is that the whole witch turning into a monster had been awful.

“Theo. Do you hear me ?”

“I’m currently blind. Not deaf.” He manages, forcing himself not to touch his face anymore, as it doesn’t seem to help. 

“You have a limited time to get better.”

“Yeah, I thought so.”

“You have to start channeling the healing right now.”

“What do you think I’m doing?” He snaps, trying to address Scott. 

Nobody answers, but all of the hearts around him sound too loud. Everything is dark, and the smell of his own blood makes him wince.

“Scott. Theo doesn’t heal as fast as…” He can hear Lydia whisper, and Theo always had a great hearing, especially as a supernatural, but he never had the ability to hear the hidden conversations before.

“I know. But he has to try.”

Theo wants to send his fist into Scott’s nose, because how can he not see that the chimera  _ is _ trying ? He breathes in, and out. 

“Heal, heal, heal…” He whispers, and he can hear Liam labored breathing next to him.

“How long?” The beta asks, the question probably directed to Scott.

“I don’t know… One minute ? Maybe too ?”

“Shut up.” Theo says, his breathing as calm as possible. He knows how to channel his powers, he has done it before. But it feels like the wave of energy coming from inside of him dies every single time it approaches his face, and he is starting to panic.

“Don’t make me kiss you.” Stiles says, and it would probably be funny if Theo wasn’t about to lose his ability to see. His joke falls flat, and no one laughs.

“He is still bleeding”, Liam comments, his voice a little too high. “Scott, even the cuts are not healing.”

“Theo, focus!”

“I am focusing!”

He feels a new wave of supernatural powers go through him, and he directs it where the pain is the worst, hoping for the best, hoping that it will finally work, because there is no way he just lost his eyes, no way he is not getting any better.

No one talks anymore. He doesn’t know how long it has been, but the doubt starts to creep into his mind. He doesn’t have the same energy, it’s like he has used up all of his powers trying to get better, and each new tentative is worse than the one before. The anxiety starts to creep, making his stomach turn. Is this how it is ? He is seriously going to end fucking blind ? After everything he has done, and everything he has been through, is he going to lose one of his senses on the ground of the Beacon Hills preserve ? It feels really anticlimactic.

One of his hands tries to get rid of the black veil in front of his eyes, to no avail. His breathing hitches, as the pain becomes unbearable. He can taste the failure in his mouth, an iron aftertaste that he hates more than anything.

“It’s been fifteen minutes.” Scott says, matter-of-factly, like he is not announcing to Theo the loss of his eyes. “Liam, can you take his pain?”

“He needs the pain to stay conscious and heal.” The beta answers next to Theo, is voice harsh and unforgiving. He is answered by a sigh from his alpha.

“Liam… I’m sorry but at that point, there is no going back. The only thing we can do is to ease him into some sleep.”

“That’s…”

“Liam, do you want to do it or do you want me to?”

“... I’m taking care of it.”

Theo feels Liam’s hand on his arm, a warm touch almost careful, and he feels the pain being drained from his body immediately. It works like a charm, and he isn’t saddened by the fact that he can, at least, stop fighting. He doesn’t want to think about what it all means, or about tomorrow. 

He feels himself slipping away, pain free, and Liam whispers “I’m sorry” into his ear.

* * *

Theo wakes up on a comfortable bed, in the total darkness. His memories are fuzzy, and he tries to blink them away, but he can only feel his eyes twitch. It is weird, being in the dark. He doesn’t remember not seeing at least a ray of light since he has been supernatural. Even with his eyelids closed, he usually feels like the world is a breath away.

The pain comes a few seconds after him waking up, and he has to tighten his fists not to wolf out, not to rip the mattress. It’s awful, and he wants to rip his face away. He can’t keep silent, and he hears himself screaming. What is happening to him?

There are quick steps coming towards him, and a door opening, but he still can’t see anything. There are two people near him, and one of them is easily recognizable as Scott always smells like old wood. He often wondered if it had something to do with him being an alpha, but right now, he is very far from any scent investigation.

“Take his pain.” Melissa says, as she approaches him, and he feels Scott’s hand on his forearm. Immediately, the burning subdue, and he wants to reach for his eyes. Why did they put a bandage so tight on him? 

Scott’s free hand apparently grabs Theo’s fingers before he has a chance to rub his face. “Don’t”, the alpha says, his voice apologetic. “Theo, don’t.”

“I can’t see shit.” He explains. “I can’t see…”

“Theo. Please.” Melissa pleads, and he can hear how bad she feels in the tremolos of her voice. “You need to calm down.”

“I can’t fucking see. What’s happening ?”

There is a long silence, as Scott is still taking his pain, and keeping him from reaching for his eyes, before the alpha sighs. “Theo… I am sorry. There was an accident at the fight and your eyes… You couldn’t get them back.”

Oh. 

_ Oh. _

Theo feels his whole body going limp, and at the same time, the animal in him is roaring in grief. He can’t begin to imagine what Scott just said. His eyes ? He is a chimera. He is part-werewolf. There is no way he can suffer such a permanent injury. He tries to focus on his eyes, trying to have the healing kick-in, but it’s like his body doesn’t recognize the injury anymore. Like there is nothing more he can do. 

He can’t see, and he probably won’t ever again.

He hears his own scream, and he feels the weight of Scott’s body on him, probably trying to calm him down, but he is not ready to listen. His eyes. How is he supposed to live without seeing? How could something like that happen to him ? He keeps screaming, and he can  _ feel _ Melissa sobbing next to him. He wants to tell her to stop, because she doesn’t get to be miserable when he is the one who won’t see.

“Theo…” Scott whispers, on top of him. “Please calm down.” 

And Theo wants to hit him, but his body is already giving up, not good enough to fight an alpha. It’s a shame, really. He used to be so powerful. And now, he is just a blind chimera, held on a bed by a true alpha.

The Theo he has known and leant to be is dead, and he wants to cry, but he can’t, because he doesn’t have eyes anymore. It’s not fair, he thinks. So unfair. He never wanted to cry before, and know that he does, he can’t.

Why does life always take everything he has?

* * *

It’s incredibly hard to keep track of the time, when he is unable to see the light of the day. He has no idea how long he sleeps, and when he awakes. The only thing he knows is the pain, the physical one, but mostly the psychological one, every single time he remembers that he can’t see. His head is playing with him, offering dreams and nightmares full of colors, and everytime he wakes up, he has to go through the revelation again and again.

In the beginning, Scott is the only one visiting him and taking his pain. But then, the sixth time he wakes up, it’s Malia spicy scent that comes near him. She isn’t as nice as Scott, doesn’t shower him with promises that she won’t be able to keep, like “it will be okay” or “you will be fine”, and he likes her for that. She takes his pain, doesn’t comment on how his body seems to arches against the mattress, and he goes back to sleep. 

The eighth time, it’s Liam, and Theo doesn’t need to see to understand that the beta is uncomfortable with the whole thing, walking towards the bed like Theo is a time bomb ready to explode.

“Do you… Can I take your pain ?” Liam asks, and Theo grits his teeth. “No”, he answers, because he can’t go to sleep, won’t go to sleep. He can’t deal with the colorful memories anymore, only to be met by the total darkness surrounding him next time he wakes up. 

Liam probably didn’t expect him to refuse, and Theo is able to hear him shift his weight from one foot to the other. It’s just as they said. His hearing is trying to make up for the fact he just lost one of his senses. He hates it, he decides, because it means that his body is ready to move on, when Theo is not.

He accepts the pain, welcomes it even. It means he is alive, and he is awake. He keeps his fists against the sheets, resisting the need to touch, to feel his face. “What time is it?” He asks, through his gritted teeth.

Liam’s heart misses a beat, and he moves a little, probably to check his phone, or a clock, or even look at the window like a normal person.

“A little after eight. In the morning.”

“What day ?”

“Thursday. You… You got hurt on Tuesday.” The beta adds, before breathing out. “Scott had to leave the house to talk to Derek and Deaton about what happened to you.”

Theo can’t help but chuckle darkly. Talk about what happened to him, really? Do they think they are going to find a miraculous solution to help him see again? It doesn’t work like that, he wants to say. As long as he is involved, things just go worse and worse, and he learns to deal with it.

Quickly, he calculates that, as this is the eight time he wakes up, and it’s already Thursday, he has been sleeping for long pangs of time. He wonders if it’s normal, and what triggers it. The pain comes back, again and again, in waves that make his whole body shudder. He can feel his face move in reaction to it, skin tightening up on his cheeks, but nothing like it was before.

“Are you sure…” Liam asks, but Theo is quicker “Yeah, I’m sure. Just tell me… How bad does it look ?”

Liam has the decency not to answer immediately, and not to say anything cliché, or worse, lie about it. It’s almost like he can feel eyes on his face, and he wonders how awful it is. He remembers the witch, and her clamps instead of fingers. He remembers the bridge of his nose being at the mercy of the fresh air. If his eyes didn’t heal, what happened to his face?

Finally, Liam sighs, and Theo feels his weight on the mattress, as he plops next to him.

“You probably look like Tyrion Lannister after the battle that took half his nose. And not the one from the TV-show. The one from the book.”

“Oh, fuck.” Theo groans, as he remembers how he had pictured Tyrion while reading the Game of Thrones books. Disfigured, and marked for like. “That bad?” He asks Liam, still talking into the nothingness, and not ready to try and face anyone.

“Yep. You probably won’t make it to prom king this year.”

Liam’s tone is light, and he doesn’t seem to treat Theo like crystal, which is good, because his life is bad enough without having to be nurtured and taken care of. He can hear his stomach growling.

“I have a sandwich. And water.” Liam offers, but Theo has no idea how he is supposed to eat. He doesn’t know if he has a mouth anymore. It’s a terrifying idea. What if his face is just holes and holes, with no skin ? He doesn’t want anyone to look at him, and if he could, he would hide into the comforter, but he knows what is left of his skin won’t like it.

“I’m fine.” He lies to Liam, trying to ignore his thirst, and the hunger. It can wait for now. Still, there is another thing he needs, and it takes him all his confidence to even think about it. The words fumble in his mouth as he tries not to die from the feeling of helplessness that is now rooted in his heart.

“I need to go to the bathroom. Can you…”

“Yeah, sure.” Liam answers, not even thinking about it. His hand touches Theo’s arm, and he almost jumps at the contact. “Shit, sorry. Uh, should I…”

“Just walk me to the door. I’ll… I’ll be fine.”

Standing up is harder than he expected. He never thought he relied on his eyes to simply walk, but it is apparently the case, and he needs to grab Liam’s arm harder than expected. His body is hurting, and the pain in his face is burning, but there is no way he is going back. Asking was already too hard, and he doesn’t want to have to do it a second time. He tries to count the steps, to memorize how to go there, but he isn’t used to it, and he is pretty sure he will have to ask again next time. 

Liam opens the door for him, and has the decency to wait outside. It takes Theo long, too long, as he uses his hand to find the things around him. He is thankful once he is drying his hands, and telling Liam that he is done. 

He hears the door opening.

“Want me to walk you back to the bed?”

He is grateful for the question. In fact, he doesn’t know what he wants. At the same time, he wants to learn, and quickly, and still, he feels over-tired, like the few steps he took were enough to use all his energy. 

“Guide me by voice?” He whispers, and the shame of it all is like a cold river in his vein. 

“Sure.” Liam answers, moving. “Okay, so I am next to the bed right now. You have like… Four steps until the feet. You should…”

It takes him a whole minute to walk the four meters. 

This time, he is the one who asks for Liam to siphon the pain. He wants to forget, he wants to leave. This isn’t the life he wants, and he is quite sure he won’t be able to accept it. Liam does the deed, easily, and fast. Theo goes back to his dreams, the colors more vivacious every single time.

* * *

The thing is, it was probably better when he spent his time sleeping. Because starting on Friday, someone taking his pain doesn’t make him drowsy anymore. All of the noises, and all of the scents just overwhelm him, even when he is alone in the bedroom. He tries to familiarize himself with new ways to understand the world, such as the scents coming from the outside by the window, or how he can feel the sun on his skin when the planet is just at the right place. It’s weird, like having to learn a whole new language with no manual, and the loneliness is awful too. For a while, he had a pack, and everyone seemed to trust him. Now? Now he is only a collateral damage.

Scott is there often. He doesn’t talk much, except for telling Theo what day it is, and what’s the weather like. He is the best at pain siphoning though, like he has a perfect control on how much he can take before Theo falls asleep. Malia comes by another time, and she doesn’t say anything, just taking his pain so fast that he doesn’t remember falling asleep. Liam is the one who seems to have the most difficulties with his control, but he is also the only one who doesn’t act weird around Theo anymore.

When he comes back Saturday morning, Theo knows it’s him just by the noise his old sneakers make in the stairs of the small house. He hears the door open, and Liam asks “What’s up?” before sitting next to him on the bed, and casually taking his wrist, helping Theo breathe easier. He wonders how people with no supernatural friends do. He knows about painkillers, but he is pretty sure nothing compares to this.

“You know…” Liam says after a while, “you should probably eat. And drink water.”

“Not hungry”, Theo pretends, but even himself can hear the lie in his voice. Liam sighs. “If you keep on like this, Melissa is going to just push a needle into your arm and force it down your blood stream."

“I don’t care.”Theo grumbles. 

“Seriously ? Why are you acting like a child ?” Liam asks him, and his voice barely contains his annoyance. “I get it, it sucks, and it’s painful, but you are not alone, and there are people rooting for you Theo. Melissa makes a new sandwich three times a day, and we change the water in your cup at least five.”

“I’m not a damn pet you have to take care of.” Theo answers, trying to get rid of Liam’s hand on his wrist, but the werewolf isn’t ready to let go.

“Are you trying to wallow in self-pity for the rest of your days ?”

“What if I do ?”

“Then you clearly suck and I thought better of you.”

There is a part of Theo who wants to prove Liam right, to show him that he still is a very dangerous and nasty chimera, but the pack part of him wants this argument to end, and fast. And if he is honest, Theo knows that he won’t be able to keep ignoring the problem. He is weak, sick, and tired. Food would probably do him good.

The silence between them is look, hearts beating fast, and Theo forces the words out of his brain. He hates that he needs to ask, he can’t even believe he is going to, but the fear is constricting his heart, and he doesn’t know how to go on like that. 

“Do I have a mouth ?” He mutters, and he can feel Liam getting closer next to him. “My mouth. Is it still there ?”

There is silence, and then, Liam’s relieved laugh fills up the room. He answers in a concerned, but non-judgemental voice.

“Yes, you still have a mouth. And lips. The whole scar thing goes from the top of your left eye socket to the right of your upper lip.”

Maybe Theo should have asked before, because now that he knows he still has a mouth, he feels like he hasn’t eaten in weeks. And he is so thirsty that his throat hurts.

“Water.” He whispers, and he hears Liam picking the cup up. “There is a straw”, the beta explains, and Theo feels something against his lips. Oh, so Liam was right. He still has those. He opens slowly, and starts sipping the liquid. It feels good, like there is a fire in his stomach and he is trying to extinguish it.

“Slowly”, Liam warns him. “It’s been a few days and I don’t want you to be sick because you lapped at the water like a thirsty animal.”

“Told you I’m not your pet.”

“Sandwich?” 

Theo nods, and there is the noise of a plate being moved, because the appealing smell of ham and cheese is brought to his nose. He salivates.

“Small bites.” Liam orders, as he brings the sandwich to his mouth. It tastes amazing, the flavors bursting, and he has to keep himself from just swallowing the whole thing. He feels his fingers trembling, and his jaw is hurting from being used after such a long time, but he is grateful that he is still able to do that.

“So… I take that it’s good?” Liam says, and Theo can hear the smile in his voice. He is getting better at it. He had no idea emotions had a sound, but they do. Coupled with hearing heartbeats, he is quite sure that he would be able to follow someone’s mind through a whole conversation. 

And as the thought occurs in his mind, he immediately hates it. He hates that he is thinking about it, that he is, despite himself, trying to adapt. He doesn’t want to. He doesn’t want to have to learn, he doesn’t want to have to accept his situation. 

He is broken, and he knows that even if he heals, even if he gets better, he will never be fully himself again. That idea is unbearable. 

He put the sandwich down, not even caring if it ends up on the sheets. 

“... Or not.” Liam says. “Already full?”

“Why do you care?” Theo sighs, before letting himself fall down against the pillows. One of his hands comes close to touching his face, but he stops before getting to it. He doesn’t want to feel the broken skin. It’s better to live with ignorance. 

Liam doesn’t answer right away. He stands up, and walks to the side of the room where the window is, before opening it.

“Don’t.”

“Why?”

“I don’t want to hear…”

“Well, I do.” Liam says, sitting on the other side of the room. “It’s nice. Birds. Melissa’s flowers are blooming.”

“Stop.”

“Scott is going to mow the lawn this afternoon. Fresh grass…”

“Liam…”

“And fresh air is definitely good. This room smells bad. No offense, but you should probably take a shower at some point…”

“Shut up!” Theo manages, and he wishes he could send one of these looks that used to stop Liam in his track. But he can’t, and all he is able to do is close his fists on the sheets. “Just… Shut up.” He says, his voice less harsh. 

A silence again. He hates them, he realizes. There is no information in a silence. Except that is the one who asked for it, and now, he doesn’t know what to do. He breathes in, and the outside world comes bursting through his nostrils.

“Close the window.” He whispers. “Please.”

He hears the click, and Liam comes back next to his bed, sitting on the chair that he knows someone put there. 

“I’m sorry.” Liam says, in a small voice, and it is the last thing Theo expected. He tries to turn to face him, but he knows it is to no avail.

“What?”

“I’m sorry. I just don’t know what to do. Or say.”

Theo feels his throat tighten. “Well, don’t.”

“Don’t?”

“Don’t do anything, don’t say anything. And don’t be sorry. It’s not going to help.”

“So I’m just supposed to come here and stay silent?”

Theo wants to say that no, he doesn’t want that. He wants to think about these few minutes when they talked, when he drank and ate. But there is a part of him who can’t allow this line of thinking.

“Exactly.”

“What’s the point?”

“You tell me. I never asked for you to come.”

It’s a low blow, and he is aware he should be grateful, but he doesn’t want anyone around him making him feel like this is normal. His new normal. 

“Alright.” Liam sighs, defeated. “Do you want me to call Scott? Malia?”

“No. No one.”

“Theo…”

“I said no one!”

“Fuck you.” Liam whispers, and it still sounds like a scream to Theo. “Seriously. You get to be sad, and angry. But what you don’t get to do is give up.” His voice is calm, but his heartbeat is too fast. “If you don’t want me around, it’s alright, but if you think we are going to let you rot here…”

“Maybe you should. Maybe that’s what I want.”

“Well, tough for you, but that’s not happening.”

“Why do you even…”

“Whatever you are thinking right now, you are wrong. And yeah, I get it, it’s awful, and you can be miserable about it. But in a week, a month, or a year, you’ll have to get past it. And we’ll be there, so you better get used to it.”

“Who even is we?”

“We. The pack. Your friends. It’s hard enough keeping everyone away from your room, you better not make them mad when you see… When they come to see you.”

“I don’t want them too.”

“Seriously, Theo? They are losing their mind. They are worried. They are sad. We are sad. The only reason everyone is not around is that Scott and Deaton agree that for now, it’s better if you don’t have too many different people around you. Everyone texts, and asks for news. They can’t wait to see you.”

“Malia came.” Theo says, quietly. 

“Yeah, Scott allowed her because he couldn’t be there, and she smells a bit like him.”

“What about you?”

Liam doesn’t answer right away. Instead, he breathes, a bit too fast. “Well, everyone seems to think I should be there too.”

And obviously, Theo gets it. He knows that whatever relationship they have, Liam is important to him, and he is important to Liam. He is the one he is the closest to in the pack, and he never tried to hide it. Well, he did, but not for long. 

“Sorry for you.” He says, finally, because it seems fitting. Liam didn’t sign up for this. 

There is only half a heart beat before Liam answers “Sorry? Seriously?”

“Well, that’s not…” Theo tries, but Liam cuts in. “I think that if you finish this sentence, blind or not, I am breaking what is left of your nose.”

It shouldn’t be funny. In fact, it should be terribly sad. But the way the line is delivered, the tone Liam takes, a bit angry and still, too honest…

Theo feels himself smile for the first time since the accident. And he can imagine Liam smiling too.

“I’m sorry…” Liam says, but he is so close to laughing that Theo wants to laugh too. “That was…”

“It’s fine.” And really, it is. “Okay, buttercup.”

“Don’t call me that!”

“Your mom does.”

“She is my mom.”

“Point taken. So… What’s the plan now?”

He doesn’t really believe he will follow it. In fact, there is a part of his mind who is considering a very different plan right now. Chimera or not, he knows there are ways to end all suffering, and quickly. 

But Liam is next to him, and he cares a bit too much about making him happy. Even for a few minutes. So he listens, and he pretends to follow, as Liam talks about the pack, about people, about things they will do. 

It’s nice, Theo thinks. 

* * *

Whatever Liam told Scott, Theo’s life changes significantly after their discussion. First of all, Melissa comes to him everyday, bringing him clothes, and showing him around the bathroom. He takes his first real shower, even if she apparently cleaned him superficially before. She brings him food too, mainly sandwiches or things that he can eat with his hands. 

And then, there is the walking. She thinks it is about time that he does walk, and not just in his room. They usually have to wait for Scott, or Liam to come in, so that someone can help him down the stairs, and Theo feels terrible everytime, but being outside helps with the burn of his own inability to move around. 

He walks in the garden, taking small steps, someone always next to him, ready to grab his arm if he struggles. The smells are strong, and the noises come from everywhere, so it takes him a long time to feel at ease, but in the end, he likes it. He even looks forward to it. They don’t stay long, mostly because people have better things to do than walk Theo around, but it is the best part of his days. 

When he is around in the room, he tries new things. One of them is tying his shoelaces. It takes him dozens of tries to find the right amount of pressure to hold the laces, and how to tie them, but when he does, he is quite proud to welcome Liam with his shoes on, the next day. Liam doesn’t mention it, but Theo knows he has noticed. Liam notices all the small changes. 

He also trains himself with a spoon, using the bathroom sink. He tries to bring the spoon to his mouth without dropping any water. He doesn’t succeed all the time, and if he has no idea his hand could shake so much before, but he wants to be ready the first time he has to eat with other people. 

The days are long. He refuses the TV, but the radio is a good addition. He listens to the news, to podcasts, to music. He still feels like there are no reasons for him to wait in a room. He is better, physically. He shouldn’t be waiting like that. 

Melissa is incredible. She is there, every day, asking him questions, offering advice, taking care of him, but also pushing him. Soon enough, she decides it is time for him to learn how to deal with the stairs alone, and the exercise requires both Scott and Liam, but after two hours of joined efforts, Theo is able to go downstairs. 

She is the one who introduces him to every single corner of the house, explaining what he is feeling under his fingers, showing him around the kitchen in case he wants to eat something and she isn’t here and trying to find solutions for him to be more independent. His sense of smell is a great ally, but she also starts using small reminders for him. She puts a post it on the table if she makes some coffee, so he doesn’t burn himself, and she is always ready to answer his video calls when he is unsure about something.

He didn’t expect her to be so nice about this, to be so nice to him, but she is, and when he asks Scott about it, the alpha just sighs.

“No one deserves what happened to you, Theo. No one. And she knows you were fighting the good fight. She doesn’t want you to be alone. She is glad to help.”

Scott isn’t there as often now, moving all around the USA to fight Monroe, but that doesn’t mean Theo is forgotten. Because Liam comes every day. 

Sometimes, they just walk in the neighborhood silently. Sometimes, Liam talks about his day, his problems, his successes, and all the things he still wants to do. And sometimes, Mason and Corey come with him. In the beginning, it’s complicated for Theo, having multiple people around him, keeping track of them, and trying to understand what is going on. He gets tired too easily. But soon enough, he is used to it. Corey and Mason are careful, always talking or making noise when they move, never touching him out of the blue, or at all. And he likes them, he likes the way Liam laughs at their jokes, or banters with them. They never talk about the supernatural threats in front of him, but Theo is sure they didn’t just disappear. Still, he appreciates the moments they spend together. Even though he is just as satisfied spending his time with Liam. They find a balance again, pushing each other, despite Theo’s state. He tries to help the beta with his school work, and his personal problems. They work on Liam’s control, and on Theo’s adptation. They also spend hours laying down napping, or just having Liam trying to describe the movie to Theo, which he fails to do, but not without flair. 

Melissa often invites Liam for dinner, and if he doesn’t always agree, the ones they have the three of them are the best. Theo can sit back, enjoy the discussions, and give his opinion when asked. He doesn’t have a lot of things to think about, so his memory of every exchange he has with Liam is pretty good, and he surprises the both of them by quoting something Liam said a week before.

“Is that a new super power, Theo?” Melissa asks, a smile in her voice. But before Theo has time to answer, Liam snorts.

“No. That’s Theo. Just Theo.”

  
And Theo, _just Theo_ , can definitely live with that. 

* * *

Because his life, well, what he has left of it, goes so well, Theo is not ready when Melissa calls him one day out of the blue. She rarely does, but she programmed a ringtone just for herself, so he knows who is calling.

“Melissa?”

“Theo. I thought you would want to know. The school was attacked, and Liam has been brought up. He is hurt.”

Theo’s small world collapses, and he lets himself fall on the sofa. “Hurt?”

“He is going to be alright, but he won’t be able to make it for your afternoon walk.”

“I don’t care about the walk. What happened?”

She talks about a witch, about the cafeteria, about Liam facing her, and Corey using his powers to come behind her. She talks about her claws, and he feels like the memories are just flooding him again. He can’t breathe. 

“Theo? Theo?” Melissa says. “Theo, are you alright?”

“Was it… Was it retaliation?”

“Probably. Scott is coming, but he won’t be there until tonight.”

“Is Liam…”

“He is okay. She pierced his stomach but he is healing. He just needs to lay down for a bit, so I’ve got him in the… Morgue.”

He nods, before reminding himself that she can’t see him. “Did she use a spell when hurting him?” 

“No. I don’t think so, and he doesn’t remember it either.”

“Good.”

“Theo, I am sorry…”

“It’s alright. I just… Is there any way I could see him?”

_ See him. _ He knows that it won’t be possible, not like he wishes he could, but he is also tired of trying to avoid the subject. He is not responsible for the fact that the English language sucks. 

“I can’t leave right now, but I could ask if Mason…”

He hasn’t left Melissa’s house since the accident. And he always thought that Liam would be the first one to bring him to another place. But the circumstances are what they are, and his brain is foggy from trying to imagine Liam, laying on a cold metallic bed, hurt and alone. 

He wouldn’t be alone, obviously. Corey and Mason would be there. Melissa would be there. But Theo wouldn’t. And if he was honest, he would admit that he needs to be around Liam more than Liam needs him at the moment. Still. He won’t fight today.

“I would appreciate it. If Mason can…”

“I’ll see what I can do. I’ll call you back, alright honey? Just know that Liam is okay.”

She calls him honey, and he has to keep himself from letting the silent sob escape his lips. When has he started to care so much about her? About Liam? He is sure a few months ago, he wouldn’t have blinked at the news, and now… And now he finds himself waiting, alone in the house, hoping that someone, anyone, can come and bring him closer to the people he cares about. 

He hates the fact that he is of no use, that he can’t help, can’t do anything. He is a burden. And a big one. Having to be helped every step of the way. Exactly what he didn’t want to be. Maybe this should be his wake-up call. Maybe this is the sign he was waiting for. Maybe he should find that bottle he used to keep in his car, the one that would send him to a non-ending sleep.

He is still thinking about it when he hears Mason’s car coming in the street. He is at the door, his phone in hand, waiting, when the human jogs to him.

“Hey.”

“Hi.”

“Melissa told me you wanted…”

“Yeah.” Theo says, and he wonders what Mason thinks about it, but Mason doesn’t let him think about it for too long.

“Awesome. He is being super bitchy right now, and I am sure he’ll be happy to have you around. Grab my arm?”

Theo nods, and he lets Mason bring him to the car, showing him where the system to open it is, and finding his way alone. “Thank you.” Theo finds himself saying.

“Hm, for what?”

“For coming. And for letting me… Find things.”

“Sure.” Mason turns on the motor, and the car starts moving. “But you should thank Liam. He is the one who coached us through… This.”

“This?” 

“Well, being around you. Before we came for the first time. He told us… You know, not to touch you. Or to try to do things for you. He was pretty convincing.”

They never talked about it, Theo notices. Liam never asked him what he liked, or didn’t like. But now that he thinks of it, Liam never does anything that makes him uncomfortable anymore. He always offers, never presumes. While Theo was busy learning how to live, Liam was apparently occupied learning how to accommodate him.

“Are you okay?” Mason asks, and Theo swallows.

“Yeah. Just a bit… I didn’t expect that.”

“Well, never did we. We thought the girl was weird, but we didn’t think that she would just go off on us like that. Crazy.”

“Did she survive?”

“Corey ended up knocking her out. She is at Deaton’s, well secured.” 

“The spells…”

“Stiles worked out some amulets that are pretty effective after… What happened.”

“That’s good. And Liam is…”

“He is okay.” Mason repeats, but he doesn’t seem bothered. “She went pretty deep in his stomach but once he was stabilized, it started getting better. He is in pain, and not healing as fast as he usually does, but it looks better already.”

Theo stays silent, trying to picture the scene. It gets harder every day, the memories of his reality slowly slipping away. But he can picture Liam’s face, hard and angry, turning as he faces the witch, and then, the way he probably looked at his stomach. It makes him sick. 

“How far?” He asks.

“Five minutes. Looks, there are a lot of people so Corey is meeting us outside to turn us invisible. You can hold onto me as we walk but you will need to grab his hand. Is that okay?” 

Theo nods again.

Walking through the busy hospital is a nightmare. Corey’s hand is cold in his, and Mason does his best to help him, but he trips a few times, when humans start walking fast in all directions. “Sorry.” Mason whispers, again and again, but Theo wants to tell him that he doesn’t care, that he just wants them to arrive. He could fall, and hurt himself, and still want to walk. Thankfully, they make it to the elevator, and once they are in the corridors under, they can switch back to visible, apparently.

“Okay, he is just right there. Uh, do you want to go alone?” Mason asks, suddenly hesitant. Theo turns to him, trying to understand why his attitude seems so different. He knows he isn’t looking exactly where the human is, but his face still does the trick. “We already talked to him. Maybe you should go alone. We’ll be right outside.”

The decision is taken from him, and still, it is exactly what Theo needs. He pushes the door, and then stops, taking in everything from the room. He never liked it, the air full of disinfectant and metal, the blood that probably dripped on the floor, and the pain still in the air. But it also smells like Liam, and just for that, it is worth it.

“Theo?” The beta says, his voice exhausted but still curious.

Theo just walks in the direction of the werewolf. He trusts Liam to stop him if he is going to walk into something. And he is right to. “IV at your ten, bed is at eleven and a half.”

Theo’s hand stays in front of him, until they meet with the bed. “Hey.” He whispers, and once again, he wishes he could see, wishes he could know exactly the extent of the lacerations and how bad Liam is hurting. He feels like he has too much information, and not enough. “How are you?”

Liam laughs a bit. “Terrible. But it’s good to see you. I didn’t expect…”

“Did you have any idea she was a witch?” Theo asks, not letting him finish. The anguish in his gut is too hard to ignore. And when Liam doesn’t answer right away, he feels the pang of frustration. “Damnit, Liam!”

“Look, I wasn’t sure, alright? And there was no way to know she was linked to…”

“You had a doubt. You should have called Scott. You know very well how bad witches…”

“Yeah, I do.” Liam says, quietly, and Theo feels almost guilty for getting angry. “I know. I am sorry. But to my defense, she really didn’t look like she was one. And she was a girl on a mission, so she still would have attacked us. Really, I think we did pretty well, considering.”

Theo bites his lips, and his right hand comes in front of him, trying to find Liam’s arm. He doesn’t have to say a word before Liam raises his hand to guide him. “I’m there.” He whispers.

“I was worried.” Theo tries to explain. 

“Melissa shouldn’t have told you.”

“She should, and she has. You got hurt.”

“I was just pissed I wouldn’t be at your house on time, honestly.”

“Liam…” Theo groans, but a small laugh answers him. “Come on, tell me, how bad is it?”

“I’m fine. It… Tickles a bit.”

Theo doesn’t have to close his eyes to focus. He just has to let his fingers move to Liam’s forearm, and to let the feeling take over. He immediately feels it. The pain, hot, and violent. He moves his fingers along the veins he can almost feel, and in less than a second, a sharp breath takes him.

It has never felt so easy. He siphons the pain, welcoming it in his body. He knows pain. He can take it. 

“Theo, stop.” Liam whispers, but he can feel the way Liam’s body seems to relax under him. He keeps on taking, biting his tongue, and anchoring himself to the ground. And when finally the pain subdues, he slowly stops trying to take it, but leaves his fingers where they are.

“Thank you.” Liam mutters, his voice a bit sedated. “God, that was…”

“Better?”

“Yeah. Totally.”

Theo smiles, a small sad smile, that probably conveys how deeply unsettling it is not to have more powers. Not to be able to help. Liam moves a bit, and his free hand comes to rest on top of Theo’s. 

“Penny for your thoughts?”

Theo shakes his head. There are some things that he prefers not to talk about. Instead, he breathes, and asks. “Where are you hurt?”

“Stomach. Let me…” Liam grabs his hand, and slowly, he brings it to the skin around his injury. “Careful, it’s still a bit…” Theo uses the tip of his finger to follow the lines there, taking in how wide the incision is. “It’s almost all closed up.” Liam explains, but then he stays silent, letting Theo’s fingers move, and the chimera is almost sure he can feel a shudder.

“Sorry.” He says quickly, taking back his hand, but Liam grabs it mid-air. “No, please…”

There is a long silence, before Liam asks “Can I?” and Theo has no idea what he is going to do, or what he wants, but it is Liam, and he is not about to refuse him anything. So, he nods, letting Liam control his fate once more. 

He feels his hand being brought higher, and higher, until he can feel Liam’s chin. “That’s me.” Liam whispers, and he pushes Theo’s knuckles only one finger stands up. Slowly, he guides Theo’s fingers around his face. “That’s my eyes.”

“I know.” Theo whispers back, but he feels like he is walking on a tightrope, and he is afraid to fall, afraid for Liam to stop. He has never wanted to touch more. He feels his hand gliding on the side. “My nose. Not broken this time.” He has to control his snort, and he feels the skin under his finger move, as Liam smiles. His nail almost scraps as Liam runs it along his face. “And that’s my mouth. In case you were wondering.”

Theo takes his time, feeling the soft lips under his touch, trying to follow them, once, twice, three times. Liam is patient, letting him map the skin of his face, like he has nothing better to do, like it’s the most important thing to him. 

And then, Liam is moving again, and Theo’s hand falls into the emptiness. “Come on.” The beta says, from where he is. “There is enough room for two.”

“I can’t…”

“Taking pain is tiring, and you never leave Melissa’s so your adrenaline is probably gonna crash soon. She would kill me if I didn’t take care of you. Come on, there is room, and I promise I don’t stink as much as you did the first time I came to see you.”

Theo should probably say no. In the past, he would have. But his world has changed axis, and his only pull is to the werewolf asking him to lay next to him. So he does. Awkwardly, a bit of worry in the pit of his stomach, whispering “sorry” everytime he touches Liam. It’s harder than it should be, but they end up face to face against the pillow. He can feel Liam’s breath against his face, and it’s so comforting after the day he just had that Theo could almost get high from it. 

“Do you hurt still?” He asks, and Liam’s hand makes its way on his arm. 

“No. You took everything.”

“Good.”

At least, he was able to do that. At least, there was a point in him living. He thinks about it, but then, he wonders if Liam’s eyes are still opened. If he is looking at him. At what is left of him. 

“Don’t look at me.” He whispers. 

“Why?” 

“Because.” He doesn’t want to explain, but Liam is just as stubborn as he was before.

“I like looking at you.”

This time, Theo doesn’t hide his depreciative snort. He doesn’t know exactly what is left, but he knows it’s bad. He also knows he used to look really good. 

“You are going to have nightmares.” He says, but Liam sighs. 

“In my nightmares, we don’t end up like this.”

Theo’s heart stops for a second. “How… How do we end up?”

“... You’re dead.”

They don’t talk for a while, and then, Liam moves, just a bit. “Do you remember… When it happened?”

“Vaguely.”

Liam breathes, too hard. “After you were hurt, we waited for you to… To heal.”

“I know.”

“And then, Scott said it was too late. He said to take your pain. I didn’t want them to.” He talks faster, like the words are burning his tongue. “I wanted to give you more time but…”

“It was too late.” Theo whispers.

“It was. And someone had to stop you.”

“It was you.”

Liam inhales. “You know?”

“Yeah. I know.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m not.” Theo answers, simply. “If someone had to do it, I’m glad it was you. I’m glad you were the last one…” He doesn’t get to finish, because there are lips against his, for a second. And then, he stays motionless, reality slowly hitting him. Liam kissed him. Liam kissed him, and he doesn’t know why, but his stomach is warm now, his cheeks are burning, and he is more conscious than ever of their proximity. 

“... Sorry?”

Liam is a bit of a liar, Theo decides, because he doesn’t sound sorry at all, and it is definitely a good thing. He reaches for the beta's jaw, missing a little bit, and welcoming Liam’s hand when it brings his fingers against his face. He guides himself slowly, returning the kiss with care, and on that small metallic table, in the hollow of a world he still has to understand, he gets to kiss the man who has been next to him all these months. 

Later, on that same make-shift bed, Liam is going to trace the lines of his face for the first time, and Theo is going to let him. He will accept the touch, welcome it, even, offering the broken part of him he doesn’t know how to love yet, starving for the acceptance that comes with being loved.

Liam will take his time, the tip of his fingers brushing against the scar, against the empty sockets. He will spend more time than needed on the lines of Theo’s lips, before kissing him again and again. He will repeat these words, the ones Theo doesn’t know how to pronounce. 

But for now, Theo’s mind has become a little less cold, and maybe, just maybe, he might find his place in this world again.

  
  



End file.
